What if, as parents, we were given a roadmap for our kids?

Picture it...

You are in the part of your life where you decide (on purpose or not so much) to have children and a family. It scares you and excites you at the same time. You may have planned it out or had help to make it possible. Either way, the end result is the same.

You have this bundle of joy in front of you that you get to share all their firsts with:

• Their first time experiencing gas and hyperness because you didn’t know that broccoli and a tiny piece of chocolate in the breast milk would do that!

• Their first giggle, finger squeeze, unsteady walk.

• Understanding that you may need help because of postpartum depression — because they talked about it on a daytime TV show. Calling the nurse’s line only to be asked first: Are you safe? Is the child safe too?

• Hearing advice from everyone, including your parents, and realizing you can just smile and nod and not do any of it — because you want to do things differently.

• At the same time, asking for help because your baby cries from 7 p.m. to midnight and your mother-in-love suggests giving a bottle with some rice in it because maybe they’re just hungry — and it works.

• Figuring out that bringing your baby outside under a tree can calm them in ways that moving them around just didn’t before.

As they continue to grow —

• their first day of school, and how each one after it felt just a little different.

• Their first dance or music lesson.

• Their first day entering middle school and how different that was from kindergarten. The same is true for their first day of high school — and their last.

• Picking out a college that meets their needs and visiting them in person.

• Learning what it’s like to help them set out into the world while hanging back to be their safe space to land… when they need it.

All of the above statements happened to us as we started — and are continuing — our journey as parents.

We were intentional when we started, like so many are. I was a teacher at the time. We had a goal to have our babies in February or March so I’d get five to six months off with them. Guess what? It worked out that way. Both our children were born in February — one in 2002 and the second in 2005, in the wee hours of the morning, three years and three days apart. From what I knew about astrology at the time, this would make them both Aquarius.

That’s it. That’s all I knew.

While I knew they shared the same Sun sign — as many parents can attest — they could not be more different.

As they continued on their journey, teaching and showing us who each of them is in their unique way, Rich and I would ask each other questions like:

• Why in the world did they just do that?

• How come one child acts like this while the other acts like that?

• What can I do next to help my kid in school?

I’m sure you could add to the list, right?

I always wished that I had a roadmap. A cheat sheet. A way to understand and help them just a little better.

As a middle school reading teacher — whose first license was in elementary education — I knew a lot about child development. Or at least I thought I did. Yes, I knew psychologically why kids act the way they do at each stage of development. However, not every stage seemed to fit my kids the way the textbook suggested. Which 100% makes sense!

Together, Rich and I figured it out as best we could. We were the first in our friend group to have kids, and now we’re the first to be empty nesters. Each stage of our children’s development taught us so much — about them, and about ourselves.

Children, in many ways, mirror to us who we are as people. They look to us as their first mentors. What it looks like to give and receive love. We teach them that — or at least, that’s the hope, right?

I am often asked: does it get easier? The answer I always give is — it just gets different. I’ve found it’s only “easier” if we figure out how to work with our kiddos and their unique roadmap.

Honestly, I didn’t even discover my children’s roadmaps until they were 18 and 15.

This discovery happened in 2020.

In the middle of Covid, our oldest was about to continue their educational career by going off to college. If you’re the parent of “bigs,” you may know what that’s like — to go through the process of picking out their next right step with them. Going to the college visits and all the things.

Covid made it different.

My mother-in-love generously offered to have our oldest rent a room instead of staying in dorms, which were very restrictive — as they needed to be during that time.

We got all they needed to set up this new stage for themselves. On the last trip to pick up supplies before they moved out, they came out as trans and Non-Binary.

At the time, I had no idea what that meant. I was already emotional because they were starting this new phase, and not understanding what they were telling me just confused me more. But I knew I needed to figure it out.

That’s when astrology stepped in.

They started bringing these circle things with different symbols on them to family gatherings and asking if we knew our birth info. I found it interesting to learn that I had a moon sign, a rising sign, and that the planets all meant different things too.

I thought, If I learn about astrology, I could at least have a common language with my oldest while I also figure out what having a Non-Binary child means.

I wanted to support them — in this and in both of our journeys.

That’s when I started seeing videos by Debra Silverman on TikTok. She shared astrology in a way that was easy to understand and entertaining too. I learned she had a school, and I enrolled.

As I went through each of the levels, I had not only my chart in front of me, learning what it all meant as we were encouraged to have in front of us — I had each of my children’s charts too, and my husband’s.

That’s when it started to click. Their map was unfolding. It was being translated. It all started to make sense.

You see, both my kids are Aquarius Suns, like I shared earlier. They are also both Scorpio Risings.

Where things really started to shift was in their Moon signs.

Our oldest is a Pisces Moon, and our youngest a Gemini. I learned that’s likely why our oldest loved art and could get lost in it for hours. Why our youngest gets energy from talking things out and being around people. Why they both love to dig into topics and debate — which led them both to the debate team that Rich coaches. Why, for both of them, their close friends feel like family.

It was through learning about their unique signatures that I was able to figure out how to talk with them — independently. Support them with their needs in a way I had never learned in teaching school.

Then Debra did an interview with Tara Vogel. Tara is a teacher within DSA who also specializes in helping parents understand their children through astrology.

When I listened to that interview — something inside me clicked.

You see, as a teacher, I worked with students who read 2–5 grade levels below where they were in school. At times, many would label these kids as troublemakers when the reality was they were just bored — because they couldn’t read what they were expected to.

My father experienced this too, through his dyslexia. That was the reason I wanted to become a teacher in the first place.

I would spend parent-teacher conferences talking with families, offering strategies to work with their kids — with other teachers and at home. While I was listening to how Tara works with parents, I realized... I could do the same. Through astrology!

Tara taught a class on how astrologers could help parents understand their children through their birth charts. I jumped at the chance to take it.

Later, when she created a class for parents — those who aren’t astrologers — to understand their kids in this way, I was able to be one of the teachers in her program too.

Once I started understanding my children through this lens, I saw them in a different light.

I was able to talk with them in ways that didn’t overwhelm. I could advise them in ways that met their needs quicker than I had in the past.

Do I know it all? Nope.

What I do know is that I loved being a mom to both of them when they were little. I loved the snuggles, the laughter, the fighting, and the advocating.

I still love all of that — as they each move into their next phase.

What I love most, though, is that I now get to help parents in this way too.

My only wish? I wish I could have known sooner what I know now.

It isn’t a regret — just a wish.

It is my wish for you, dear reader, that you can know this too.

If you wish the same for yourself and your children, feel free to check out how I help parents here:

How I help parents

It will lead you to how I can help — and if it’s a good fit for you.

I hope hearing my journey helped you to know that parenting is a journey for all of us.

Having a roadmap just helps us figure out how to get to the destination a little faster.